<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

                                                         "The 'Elite' BBS"

                                                                Written BY:

                                                                 The Skank

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Note: This file may offend those without a sense of humor- if don't have one,
you may totally irrationalize the left side of your brain and fry like a worm
on hot asphalt. In other words don't read any further.

Quick Quote-

"Its called a sense of humor. You should get one, they're nice."-
Duckie, from the movie "Pretty in Pink"

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :
                The 'Elite' BBS. Their everywhere. Very easy to identify also. Just
look for the  'Only Elite' or 'Elite Only' behind the name of the BBS. In some
cases, the word 'Elite' is incorporated in the name of BBS. None will be
mentioned as there are some 'Elite' boards that may be offended that actually
deserve the word Elite. But you get the picture.

How to spot the 'Elite' board:

Only Elite Users- no one with a modem less than 2 years
Only Elite Posting- no rag wars or anything below elite quality
Spankin' new wares- nothing older than 1 day
Warp speed modems- anything slower than 9600 and you're in the dust

In the following file is a simulated call at 'The Elite BBS'. And of course the
software is what else ?

"The Elite BBS Software: For Elite BBS's".....
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

RING

LOGIN: ?

(notice the elusive cover of LOGIN)

LOGIN: umm anyone there?

LOGIN: 

(apparently not one of the 'elite'!)

RING

LOGIN: OPEN SAYS ME

(original eh?)

The door opens and you enter....
                                           __________  __    __   _______
| |                   /:::::::::: /::   /::  /:::::::
| |                      /::     /::___/::  /::___
| |                     /::     /::::::::  /::::::
| |                    /::     /::   /::  /::_____
| |                   /::     /::   /::  /::::::::
| |             _______   __        __   __________   _______
| |            /:::::::  /::       /::  /::::::::::  /:::::::
| |           /::___    /::       /::      /::      /::___
| |          /::::::   /::       /::      /::      /::::::
| |         /::_____  /::_____  /::      /::      /::_____
| |        /:::::::: /:::::::: /::      /::      /::::::::
| |                  _______    _______    _______
| |                 /:::::::   /:::::::   /:::::::
| |                /::___/::  /::___/::  /::____
| |               /:::::::   /:::::::   /:::::::
| |              /::___/::  /::___/::  _____/::
| |             /::::::::  /::::::::  /:::::::
| |
| |_____________________________________________________________________
|______________________________________________________________________/

(Notice the superb text graphics- awesome!)

                                         [:|   Account   |:] 783

(pretty high account number- must be alot of elite users! or a scitsophrantic
sy
sop..)

                                         [:|  Pass-word  |:] XXXXXXXXXXXX

                                         [:|  2nd  Pass  |:] XXXXXXXXXXX


                                         [:|   Phone #   |:] 212/ 980-1212

                                         [:| System Pass |:] XXXXXXXX

                                         [:|    >Wait<   |:]
(high security so none of the non-elite can attempt to get on!)

| Welcome SULPHURIC ASH, <- original handles to say the least
| You were last on
| The Elite BBS  : 06/30/88
| Todays Date    : 07/01/88
| Total Time on  : 54 hours 16 minutes
| Last Caller    : CYANIDE INJECTION
|_______________________________________

(all of the needed info we would die without..)

[ You have mail waiting! ] Read it now ? YES ]

(Oh goody! someone wants to talk to me!)

| The Elite Mail System
| From   : ENDOSPASMIC RECTUM <- again, quite original handles
| Date   : 06/30/88
| Subject: Hey....
|_____________________________________________________________________________

I have had that ware for over 2 weeks now! talk about old! Did you get any new
codes? If so, tell me what they are- I can't hack them out myself cause I'm not
elite..latre

[ A/C/D/Quit ] Auto Reply

Title: Well...

| Enter your Elite Message now, 80 columns 4k max- .s quicksave
-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----

If you're not Elite what are you doing on this board ? Only ELI{axz!da{{atab{

Oops. Sorry bout' the line noise. ONLY ELITE USERS!!!!!!


(carriage returns)


Latre,

Sulph Ash
.s

[ Saving your Elite Message... ]

[ Saved! ]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOGON MESSAGE:
BY: MR. SYSOP
DATE: 06/29/88


                I know that the 9600bps modem is slow for all of you, but bear with me
until I can get that 19200 working. Thank you for being such ELITE users.

                                                                                                                Mr. Sysop
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(what a sweet sysop. Makes me feel so elite. 9600bps is slow?)


[|:34:| The Elite BBS :|] B

Bulletins

(all right! get to see the nifty posting!)

[|: The Elite Board  1-100 :|] 100

| To  : Milk Dude
| From: FLOWER MONSTER
| Date: 07/01/88
| Subj: This
|____________________________________________________________________________

whole BBS is for the Elite only, not for people who just got their modems.
 _
/-lower /\/\onster

(quite the ELITE signature. text graphic here, text graphic there, here a text
graphic, there a text graphic, everywhere a text graphic...)

[ A/N/S/Quit ] Quit

[|: The Elite Board  1-100: |] 99

| To  : All
| From: MILK DUDE
| Date: 07/01/88
| Subj: Modems..
|____________________________________________________________________________

I just got a 300 baud modem. Is that good? Well, I think I'll go get some brand
new warez- just got flight simulator- anybody got it ? Oh by the way, I'm new
and I hope that I can become friends with each and everyone on this board.

||\\//||ilk DUDE!

(is this guy elite or what?)

[ A/N/S/Quit ] Auto-Reply

Is this via The Elite Mail System ([Y]/N) YES

Title: .......

| Enter your Elite Message now, 80 columns 4k max- .s quicksave
-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----|-----

How did you ever get on this board. You are a loser. Where'd you get the login
and system pass?

Sulph Ash
.s

(where'd you get your personality?)

[ Saving your Elite Message...]

[ Saved! ]

[|: The Elite Board  1-100 :|] Quit

(man we posted alot!)

[|:30:| The Elite BBS :|] X

Turbo Elite Transfers

[ ]::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[ ]
|\| The Elite BBS                                            EliteTAC 6.1z |/|
[ ]::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::[ ]
                                          ____  ___   ___   ____  ___
                                           ||  || || ||_||   ||  ||_  ||\ ||
                                           ||  ||_|| ||      ||  ||__ || \||

Top Ten Elite     Blocks                           Top Ten Leeches    Blocks
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MirrororriM       234123                           Sulphuric Ash      432853
Health Nut        234122                           Endospamic Rectum  417175
Bottle'o'Pop      234121                           Acid Reaction      398657
Peppy             234120                           Cool Whip          384893
Karateka          234119                           Chains&Bondage     312422
Drug Addict       234118                           Nuclear Condom     302183
Mr. Sysop         234117                           Mr. Sysop          302123
Killer Panty      234116                           The Parasite       293272
Farmer Ted        234115                           Opaque Lengerie    282931
Tenth Ammendment  234114                           Ten Commandments   10
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


| Note: Don't upload anything you think might even be slightly old- only the
| newest warez- unless requested. And no text files as they take up space.
| Thank you for being so ELITE.
|                                        Mr. Sysop
|___________________________________________________________________________

Space used, vol. 1 -60  -> 121002k        Space Free -> 160598k
Space used, vol. 61-120 -> 201324k        Space Free -> 80276k

Total Space: 550megs

(text files take up space? what space? this place only has 563200k total..)

Your credits: 21345
12-1 block ratio

Protocol:

| [ Y ] Ymodem Batch
| [ X ] Xmodem ProDOS
| [ W ] Wmodem
| [ Z ] Zmodem
| [ T ] Turbo Modem
| [ Q ] Qmodem Batch
| [ E ] Elite Modem

(nice wide variety of protocols)

Choose:E

Elite Modem

Timout Transfer interval set on ELITE


[|:28:| Elite Transfer :|] Directory

[|:1/2 day old //e UTILITIES:|]
 ____________________________________
|# |Name            |TYP|Blks |Xmd   |
|  |                |   |     |      |
|01|PROTERM.2.2z    |DDD|243  |1034  |
|02|COPY.2.PLUS.8.5 |DDD|278  |1285  |
|03|D.O.A.          |DDD|234  |987   |
|04|APPLEWORKS.3.1S1|DDD|279  |1301  |
|05|APPLEWORKS.3.1S2|DDD|256  |1115  |
|06|APPLEWORKS.3.1S3|DDD|201  |892   |
|07|APPLEWORKS.3.1S4|DDD|267  |1162  |
|08|HD.MANGER.2.1.S1|DDD|189  |798   | <- WOW, a file under 200 blocks
|09|HD.MANGER.2.1.S2|DDD|298  |1560  |
|10|PEN.PENCIL.S1   |DDD|202  |894   |
|11|PEN.PENCIL.S2   |DDD|212  |914   |
|12|PEN.PENCIL.S3   |DDD|254  |1110  |
|13|PEN.PENCIL.S4   |DDD|264  |1155  |
|____________________________________|

(talk about latest wares!)

[|:28:| Elite Transfer :|] Log a volume

Current: 1
Volume: 50

[|:27:| Elite Transfer :|] Directory

[|: 1/2 day old //e WARES :|]
 ____________________________________
|# |Name            |TYP|Blks |Xmd   |
|  |                |   |     |      |
|01|KING.QUEST.4.S1 |DDD|243  |1034  |
|02|KING.QUEST.4.S2 |DDD|278  |1285  |
|03|KING.QUEST.4.S3 |DDD|234  |987   |
|04|KING.QUEST.4.S4 |DDD|279  |1301  |
|05|KING.QUEST.4.S5 |DDD|256  |1115  |
|06|KING.QUEST.4.S6 |DDD|201  |892   |
|07|KING.QUEST.4.S7 |DDD|267  |1162  |
|08|KING.QUEST.4.S8 |DDD|189  |798   |
|09|KING.QUEST.4.S9 |DDD|298  |1560  |
|10|KING.QUEST.4.S10|DDD|202  |894   |
|11|KING.QUEST.4.S11|DDD|212  |914   |
|12|KING.QUEST.4.S12|DDD|254  |1110  |
|13|KING.QUEST.4.S13|DDD|264  |1155  |
|14|KING.QUEST.4.S14|DDD|202  |894   |
|15|KING.QUEST.4.S15|DDD|212  |914   |
|16|KING.QUEST.4.S16|DDD|254  |1110  |
|17|KING.QUEST.4.S17|DDD|264  |1155  |
|18|KING.QUEST.4.S18|DDD|202  |894   |
|19|KING.QUEST.4.S19|DDD|212  |914   |
|20|KING.QUEST.4.S20|DDD|254  |1110  |
|21|KING.QUEST.4.S21|DDD|264  |1155  |
|22|KING.QUEST.4.S22|DDD|202  |894   |
|23|KING.QUEST.4.S23|DDD|212  |914   |
|24|KING.QUEST.4.S24|DDD|254  |1110  |
|____