NOFX - Ribbed

Green Corn

Sometimes I think of all the places where I don't

wanna go

Then I think of all the things that I don't wanna do

And when I think of all the people that I don't wanna

meet

I close my eyes and go to sleep



Tully, baby, you're trapped behind your golden bars

I'm the prince of poverty hangin' out in bars

Your life's a Mercedes, a mansion with a pool

My life's on a bus stop just waiting for some fuel



Your obviousness disgusts me I see thru your macho

lies

I'll fight everything you stand for

There's something in your purse baby, my head is

getting sore

Maybe what we had was just green corn

The Moron Brothers

Talking about the Moron Bros', tattooed fingers,

tattooed toes

They're idiots, losers, they're scum

Taking advantage of everyone

You're a dog, they're your fleas

Doing everything they can to spread disease



They'll take your beer, they'll take your drugs

Leave with you microscopic bugs

Their company is something you won't miss

When your icetrays are filled with piss

They are the Moron Brothers

Don't get along with others



They'll whine, they'll bitch, they'll fuck you if you're rich

They'll leach, they'll latch, they are the itch you can't

scratch

Do do do do do do do do da do do do do etc.



They'll ink your face, tape your eyelids closed

Tabasco's in your mouth,

there's mustard up your nose

When your head is shaved you'll think the worst has

passed

Just try to move your leg

they've put you in a cast

They are the Moron Brothers

Don't get along with others



They may not go down in history

But they'll go down on your sister

Shower Days

In the morning I awake

I feel my bladder about to break

I scratch my balls I rub my eyes

Just feeling lousy



My girlfriend tells me that

It's time to take a bath

I say, "No, not today, it's only Tuesday"



Once every 24 hours

I'm supposed to take a shower

That's not the way I do it

Do it do it



Personal hygiene is the last thing on my mind

I don't want to do it

Do it do it



It doesn't make a difference to me

Everyday I do the same old thing

So why should I have to be clean?



Those dreaded Wednesdays and Saturdays

Also known as shower days

I hate them

Food, Sex, and Ewe

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me

I'd rather watch 10 hours of T.V.

But since I can't I'll think of food

I'll think of sex

I'll think of music

And I'll think of you



I'd rather have a cold one by the sea

I'd rather have you sitting on top o'me

But since I'm here and you're so far away

I'll read about Zaphod Beeblebrox

As I pass the day, hey



I'd rather not spend my whole night driving

I'd rather not be on so much caffeine

But since you're in bed and I'm sleeping

on some floor

I'll think of you and I'll wish that I was home

Just the Flu

Looking back to the past,

predictions of the end

Unseen ultra violet rays

are beating on my head

Nuclear threat wanna bet will be our demise

The day will come when we'll look to apocalyptic skies



When the news had spread, that soon we'd all be

dead

Well it just blew our minds

No one could have guessed that our worst fears at

best

Figments of our time



So it seems that our dreams will never come to be

How could such a stupid thing destroy humanity?

A few weeks till extinction and there's nothing we can

do

A message sent to other worlds will say, "It was just the flu"



There's no lesson to be learned

There's no one left to learn it

El Lay

Get out of my way,

can't you see I'm from L.A.?

Yeah, I met Slash, I've got a rose tattoo

I bet I know way more people than you



I just love this town,

my girlfriend 84 pounds

Met her at the Cathouse where I get in for free

She pays the rent while I watch T.V.



When we go out tonight,

gotta get my hair just right

Tight black pants and blue suede shoes

I'll get my picture in Rock City News



Gotta get those flyers out,

might meet a talent scout

And he will talk contracts with me

My fame and fortune and MTV

New Boobs

Something is lacking, I'm not attracting

My boobs are not as big as I want them to be

I want 36D



I'm not receiving enuff affection

Gonna get me a silicon injection

And fulfill my dreams, bust through my seams



My social life is pathetic, I can't find a man

When I need is cosmetic surgery

Be the best I can be



Proteins, and milkshakes, mass vitamin consumption

Who needs to diet when liposuction

is painless and quick, local anesthetic



Now my body is a model, a flawless perfection

I most certainly will cause an erection

wherever I go, but I still don't know



The reason why I can't find a mate

Guys I meet ejaculate

Then leave through the door,

I can't take anymore

Cheese

It's been a long time

Now it's time to get your bubble burst

Things are bad enough in this world

Why do you have to make them worse?

Day after day, you just gotta get it

Where's My Slice?

So sick and tired of your bitching and complaining

So long you've been oppressed while others lives are

gaining

Want reparations, you're needy and deserving

Can't understand why some are served while you're

doing the serving

Anything but responsibility



Where's my slice?

I want more than equal rights

I want everything for free!



You waste your time concerned with what others are

earning

You want a revolution to start the tables turning

A demonstration to make a better nation

We'll spend the day protesting all the problems that

we're facing

Anything but face reality

Where's my slice...



Your brilliant theory

how the world owes you a living

You'll take away from others

the things they should be giving

They own the pie and you want your share

Whoever told you life was fair?

You were dealt your hand - now play it



Where's my slice...

Together on the Sand

Together on the sand,

we walked hand in hand

On the beachfront, she smiled at me

As she tightly held my hand

I had my finger up her...

Country music played on the radio

So I turned it off and we walked down

To the water, as she grabbed on to my honker

A wave swept us away

Nowhere

(written in July 1989)



You can't believe the things you see and read

The Soviet threat

Our pseudo enemy

What's scaring me?

Our foreign policy

To make the world safe for business

Call it democracy



Our human nature, it's all the same

We spend our lives in the pursuit of happiness

So stop the hate, open the iron gate

It's our destiny to make the cold war history



You think I give a shit

If you're a socialist

If you're a capitalist

We've all got to exist

On this planet with nowhere to run

The millions of brainwashed must open their eyes

We are one



With us over here and them over there

Barbed wire borders are going nowhere

Brain Constipation

Somebody hear me, somebody listen to me

Am I alone in this world

Is there anyone listening?

Appease me, can't find a reason to be

Alienation, is taking over me



I'm going away, can't go on any longer

I really don't know why I just gotta die

I never thought this was how it would end



The body swinging,

I see it over and over again

Vanian singing, can I ever listen to it again?

A cry for attention was a cry never heard



With no one listening,

there was nothing to be heard

Nothing to be heard

Gonoherpasyphlilaids

Sitting in a room waiting for some news

Sitting in a room with white knuckles

Not feeling so good

I didn't do the things I should



I said, "Doc, tell me what's wrong with me"

He had this expression he didn't know what to say

"It seems that you've contracted a new strain."



How could this happen to me?

Another victim another casualty

From fucking casually, another casualty



All the times I should have worn a jimmy hat

All the times I said, "What the fuck,

I won't look back, that's not for me."

I wouldn't listen to reason

Now look at me

I Don't Want You Around

Jenny, so many times I tried to get away

But you kept following me all over town

I'll display it, there's no way to say it

I don't just want you,

I just don't want you around

I don't want you around,

you follow me around

It's really bringing me down.

I don't want you around



When it was time to go I had nothing to say

Don't you look at me,

don't you look at me that way

"I love you!"  Oh, really?  Please go away



What gave you the idea?

Get it out of your head

You follow us around,

we're not the Grateful Dead

I wanted to be friends but you wanted more

So, like I told you before,

I don't want you around

The Malachi Crunch

Did you get that rush, that feeling, adrenalin

pumping through your veins?

A lifeless body in the gutter, city streets are stained

How do you rationalize, what do you see

in your reflection?

A kid just having fun, A soldiers bloodied

boot impression

One for all and all for one, especially when

it's ten on one

You don't care what you're doing, you know

it sure is fun



If it happened to your mother would

you laugh so hard?

Well, that was someones son or brother

That you kicked so hard



This time you went too far

What's the matter, don't you feel alright?

Do you feel remorse?

Or are the handcuffs on a little too tight?



Now that your friends are gone, you've got no

defense, no protection

5 or 6 times a day you receive your hot beef injection

I hope every time you're cornholed

terror fills your mind

The one emotion you have inspired one too many

times.