NOFX - Heavy Petting Zoo
(c)+(p) 1996 Epitaph Records
HOBOPHOBIC
Hobo - I'm hobophobic So what AH AH AH
Scared of bums
Not just because they stink bad
Not just because they're crackers
From drinking too much lysol
Let them be
Just don't get fuckin' near me
Scared of bums AH AH
Infested with microscopic bugs
Endocrine systematic Doo Doo
Why don't they get a job
PHILTHY PHIL PHILANTROPIST
There's something wrong with mass consumption
Why do we want what we don't need
Alcohol burnt clean asphalt methampphetamin
Will make it seem alright It's gonna make it seem alright
Living in the hunger underground
Some people say I got a problem with authority so
what if I do man it beats relinquished control
Philthy Phil Philantropist
You were take when you should be given away
More than we cannot repay
There's something grand about being nothing
There's something lame about being grand
Alcohol squirtin gun don't want no holidays in these
That's me not bein you, that's just me not bein you
Either part of the solution or the problem
Can there not be a middle ground for just the anybody
Replace superman with joe the ordinary
Philthy Phil Philanderer
You've takedn when you shoulda give away
Filthy Phil you gave to us
More than we cannot repay
FREEDOM LIKA SHOPPING CART
A christian an anarchist slash prostitute figures out the true meaning of freedom
Not freedom like america freedom like a shopping cart
Kick back no tense you got a bag of grub cost you about 50 cents
No fear no fuckin feat malt liquor tastes much better on the street
Crustin, a way of life for heroines and heroes had hitchike the rorad to eden
Not eden like the garden state eden like the state of mind
Kick back cheap thrills you'll do anything for a lugh even if it kills you
The bridge you took it out the ticket takers suddenly lost count
Sleeping under rays your teeth crumbling away say goodbye
To all responsibility you never wanted it man
Wasting time whenever you get the chance
Which happens to be all the time
Kick back free meals
A couple of times a day you make a coupe if shady deals
No work no fuckin pay
Cardboard condiminium by the bay
You're between the red i black and you're never goin' back
To all responsibilty cause
You never wanted it man
BLEEDING HEART DISEASE
How many polluted my mind
Dough what our lives are lived for
Rae just a crazy aussie
Me the generation forges on
Fodder for corporations
Sewwing our lips together
LA such a nice plact to get shot
But don't forget the T it
Follows liber in the the constitution
Following the part about pursuit
of happiness the bi product
of colonial precious metal
mine extracts which
brings us back
to dough
Do do do do do do
Do do do do do do
Do do do do do do
Today I saw a kid
torture a cat
Too much leisure
Teenage Norman Rockwell
paints it black!
How did the chain get started
More is what everyone wants
Neydy is what none of us are
Co-operation died last night
Me, I'm just a loo
So don't expect the best you won't be disapointed when you take
A bite and watch the worm crawl back inside. Listen to the
fairy tales of million dollar happiness, Los Angeles lifestyles
drinking chardanay over a lobster salad brunch
The pursuit of million dollar happiness
Happiness was killed we watched it bleed, some say it died from hate
Some say from bleeding heart disease
HOTDOG IN A HALLWAY
She'll have another piece of pie
She'll have a double reuben rye
She kicks hard at eating well
That's why I love her
She's got a couple of pony kegs
Her arms are bigger than my legs
And when she holds me I can't breathe
That's why I love her
I'm her butter she' my bread
She's like a mobile waterbed
And hwen I got on top of her
I can't touch the mattress
And when her flesh begins to sag
She's like a human sleeping bag
I feel so cozy safe and warm
She's my insulation
I always know where she sat
And when she's on me I get flat
Some broken ribs a punctured gut
That's why I love her
She's my phillie I'm her stud
Her bean is bigger than my pud
It's like feeding a tic-tac to a whale
That's why I love her
RELEASE THE HOSTAGES
Stop have a beer it's on me has
anyone ever told you that you
Look like a hollywood star
Oh you've heard it said many times
Before right here at this bar
I'm lame
So I drink cause it makes me
Happier than being alone. My
good friend MR. Johnie walked red
Keeps my insides warm like a cunt
Seems like evrybody's got
Something I have not, a reason
not to die so I say death to
Mr. Right cause that will never
be me yeah yeah yeah
LIZA
She's been around a couple years
Tasted 31 flavors there's only one
She really hates that would be you
The blandest one don't make her fold
And that's what she likes to hear the noise
Liza's been around the block
She's currently a femme bitch top
A giant step from old Louise
Now she's the one who's on the prey
She used to wear her hair short low
Determing her preference
She didn't like that dynamic
Trading in her flannel shirts
She even bought herself some boots
Miss Terrence sellers any
She's got more power feminine
She knows the power incites fear
And it's that fear
Which makes her wet
She's goin to the Tribe 8 show
Plenty of boychicks to choose from
It's the calyx of isis
She'll find a bottom young + butch
She'll tell her
"i won't hurt you much
unless of course
you want me to."
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH KIDS TODAY?
There's something wrong
with the kids in my neighborhood
They always listen to music
They disregard civil disobedience
They'd rather do what they're told
They don't drink or fuck off
They sit home, and read, expand their minds
There's something wrong with
the kinds in my cul de sac
Their always goin to church
They dress well and they're
Speaking articulate
They show eachother respect
They're never late, don't joke
or break rules
They eat right, study hard
They like school
There's something wrong
LOVE STORY
Partly owned to her house
Wooden white picket fence
Mother waits for father
In a backless dress
Hardly used a diaphram
Put back into the case
A one way trip down memory lane
As she awaits
I don't wanna know
Cheat me
I don't wanna know
Children play in the yard
Mother stares at a wall
Father says he's gonna be back late
So don't wait up
About a quarter to 3
Father stares at a wall
Stained thicker than water
Who's gonna clean it up
THE BLACK AND WHITE
Mr. McCarthy killed the light he didn't wake his lovely wife
He left the key inside the door, woke up on the wrong side of the bed
She can't remember what he said but she sure knew what he had done
Little choices in a, a little town maybe a, little man is right to be afraid
Biblic moralization, identity frustration, confused man cannot know his heart
So he may be fucking her, but he's thinking about him
Catherine McKinnon does exist, she likes to call herself a feminist
A crusader who fights the patriarch. But what she really hates is sex
Simple solutions created by black+white thinking. Too bad the world not work that way.
Catherine should be busy porkin, that dolt Andrea Dworkin
I think they need a good hard fuck
Cause she may be off her back now she needs to get off ours
The little man sits all alone, his sexuality's been cut in stone
He doesn't love her, she really don't care
Two victims of the black and white
WHATEVER DIDI WANTS
I wouldn't walk 500 miles when I could fly coach
but almost anything
I wouldn't swim across the nile
Cause I could get a moeisic disentary
Cause if there's anything you want
I'll probly get it
You tell me what you need
I'll try not to forget it
You need someone to blame
I'll ay I said it
Bause whatever Didi wants she's gonna get it
I wouldn't climb the highest mountain
Could get a blister, but almost anything
I wouldn't throw coins in a fountain
I might be needing to make a phone call
I doesn't seem like you're a million
miles away, no. But maybe one or two
That doesn't mean, I never loved you
Me love you long time, when you're on top of me
AUGUST 8TH
Birds sing there's not a cloud in the sky August 8th
I see a bunch of hippies crying yeah August 8th is a beautiful day
Like waking up from a real bad dream suddenly everything is ok
The storm has passed the sun is shining yeah August 8th is a beautiful day
What's goin on what's goin on is something bummin your scene
There's something wrong there's something wrong I'm not trying to be mean
The air is sweet the summer flowers bloomin nowhere in that is anything grey
Feelings of joy are filling the street yeah beautiful day
Like waking up from a fucked up dream suddenly everythings looking good
There's been no permanent damage done
Yeah August 8th came right when it should
Poor Jeff
Poor little
Timmy turtle
Staying home on such a beautiful day
DROP THE WORLD
He won the race the judges concluded
He was the better man he had the will to win
A hesitation a one time show or place
His self would not allow he had to be the best
He had denied his urges cause they would of
drained his strength that battle had been one
with side effects a few
He may have dropped the world
He could not have let us down
Dana has gone away
I hope she's in a better place
She aced the test a grade above the rest
of the class the class felt the curve a 93%
was not enough to feed her fix
She needs that perfect score
The endorphin rush she loved
It would opiate her
She had denied all allgations of her loneliness
That battle had been won with scars still under wraps
She may have dropped the world
She would not let us down
Endorphin rush she loved
She may have dropped the world