Roma 23 Aug
Dear Signore Direttore,
Now I am a-tella you story how I was a-treated at your hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a-younga christian man at your
hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit' in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit'
in my bed?
So I calla down to receptione and tella. "I wanna shit'". They tella me:
"Go to toilet". I say "No no, I wanna shit' in my bed".
They say: "You better not shit' in your bed, you sonnawabitch".
What is sonnawabitch???
I go down for breakfast into ristorante. I order bacon and eggs and two pissis of toast. I
getta only one piss of toast.
I tella waitress and pointa at toast: "I wanna piss". She tella me: "Go to
toilet". I say: "Oh no, I wanna piss on my plate".
She then say to me: "You bloody hella not piss on the plate, you
sonnawabitch!!!".
Second person who do not even know me calla me sonnawabitch.
Later I go for dinner in Your ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but there is no
fock. I tella waitress: "I wanna fock".
And she tella me: "Sure everyone wanna fock". I tella her: "No no, you do
not understand me. I wanna fock on the table".
She tella me: "So you sonnawabitch wanna fock on the table! Get your ass out of
here!"
So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more. When I
have paid the billa the portier say
to me: "Thank you, and peace to you". I say "Piss on you too, you
sonnawabitch".
I go back to Italy. I never more comma stay in your hotella no more. You sonnawabitch...
Yours sincerely
Enrico Morelli