"Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish"
1: Always use a cool nick that just screams out 3lit3! Try to find one that at least 20.000 people allready have soo you will always be recognized when you enter an irc channel or something. If you can't find one pick a grim one like Satan Master and replace all of the lame parts of it. For example: s=z, t=7, e=£. See how cool it looks: Zatan Maz7£r. Wow, now you're set!
2: Now it is time to choose which OS you want to program in. Don't choose any good ones, just go with DOS or maybe OS/2. Then when people ask you what you've done you can say: "I do a lot of DOS stuff", then they will ask if you won't begin programming windows or linux stuff soon and you can quickly reply agitated "I won't program shit for that fucking Bill Gate$ shit and Linux sucks because you have to use / instead of \!!!!". By this time most people has already left or are at least leaving soo you won't probably have to show them any of your stuff (if you've done any at all that is).
3: Now it's time to do some stuff. Find a source you like on the internet and change the author name and some of the graphics. You don't have to change the plot since you can say you did it first and that f*cker stole your idea. Now put it on the net and try to pend it to most of the huge storage sites like cdrom.com and so forth. Remember to make a shareware version that has the keyboard disabled, this to piss those lamers with Linux off!
4: It's time to advertise! Send emails to every group on the net (including commercial ones like Lionhead and Westwood). Threaten to email bomb them or spreay paint their cars if they dont link to your page! On your page use words like "Ultimate, Coolest, High Res, Multiplayer, 1900x1700, based on a true story, based on the works of xxx (insert famous name here), bug free, (although this can be risky since most people don't trust programs that doesn't have at least a couple of dozen bugs in it), Emulation, XXX, Adult only".
5: Now it's time to make some $$$. Send your program (full version) to some of your Warez friends under an alias. They will put it up on their page with a note like "Havent tried it yet, though I've heard its cool". Now sue them in an american court for 40 million dollars.
6: That's it! Enjoy your money!